UNFUCK YOUR ANKLES
The Unfinished Business
of Ankle Sprains
You sprained your ankle. Again.
Or maybe it was years ago, and it still shows up every time you sprint, cut, land, or look at a curb wrong.
You did the ice, the band, the balance board. You "graduated" from PT after six weeks because you could stand on one leg without falling over.
But it still doesn't feel right.
You don't trust it on uneven ground. It gets stiff after runs. It feels weak when you go for speed. And there's this nagging sense that one bad step could send you right back to square one.
Here's why your ankle never fully recovered:
Standard ankle rehab stops at "can you balance without pain?"
But your ankle doesn't just need balance.
It needs:
→ Dorsiflexion range that actually loads the joint, not just stretches your calf
→ Force tolerance that prepares it for ground reaction forces, not just standing on foam
→ Movement variability under load so it can handle the unpredictable shit that real life throws at it
Most rehab programs get you to "fine" and stop there.
This guide takes you from "fine" to force-ready.
Unfuck Your Ankles is a problem-solving system for people in the middle-to-late stages of ankle sprain recovery who are tired of their ankle being the weak link.
Here’s What’s Inside:
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Lesson 1: What It Actually Means to Unfuck Your Ankle
Why "recovered" doesn't mean resilient
The difference between pain-free and performance-ready
What your PT missed when they cleared you at week 6
Lesson 2: Teaching the Wrinkles
How to read your skin to understand movement quality
Why skin tension patterns reveal compensation you can't feel
The diagnostic tool you already have (your eyeballs)
Lesson 3: Dorsiflexion Decoded
How your ankle is actually supposed to bend (hint: it's not "point your toes up")
The difference between stretching your calf and loading your joint
Why your ankle mobility work isn't creating the range you think it is
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Essential Movements
Force tolerance drills that teach your ankle to handle impact, not just balance
Loaded dorsiflexion work that builds resilience under actual demand
Ground reaction progressions that prepare you for speed and cutting
Maybe-You-Need-'Em Movements
Targeted exercises for specific gaps (lateral stability, rotational control, deceleration capacity)
Troubleshooting protocols for when something still feels off
Ridiculously specific cuing because the devil's in the details
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See how the movements stitch together in a progression you can follow, adapt, and repeat
Week-by-week structure that builds from controlled to chaotic
Real programming logic, not just "do these 10 exercises"
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Why your athlete's tendon pain got better then came back
How to tell if you're loading the right structure (or just the surrounding muscles)
When to back off, when to push through, when to change position entirely
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Because "load your ankle" means nothing if you can't see what it's supposed to look like.